Rainy Days
by waywardgal
Summary: A 3 shot AU story. The young and new laywer, Hinata Hyuga has just received her new case: defend Gaara Sabaku, who has been charged with first degree murder and is facing life without parole, in the case of the murder of General Shukaku. Many think Gaara is just a lunatic who killed an innocent man, but Hinata will soon find out that there is more to this case than meets the eye
1. Chapter 1

**Bold: **Indicates Gaara's past in the military

Warnings for later in the story: Violence, Mentions of drug use, Suicidal thoughts, and Rape.

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**Hinata**

I let out a satisfied sigh as I sipped on my low-fat decaf coffee. In all honesty, I hated anything "low-fat" and anything "decaf." To tell the truth, I visited Starbucks that morning to order a Caramel Frappuccino with extra whipped cream when I received a call from my father.

"Good morning Father!" I greeted my father with a smile.

"Hinata, good morning," my father answered over the line, "how was moving in? Did Neji stop by to help you? I told him you would need help. I can't depend on that boyfriend of yours to handle all your things on his own." I giggled at my father's doubt.

"Naruto was fine, Father," I retorted, "by the time Neji arrived, Naruto had already moved in all of the heavy things. You know he's an athlete, Father. He's quite strong."

"I don't care if he's a football player, Hinata. He didn't finish college. You know how I feel about you dating someone without a University education. I was already so hesitant when you entered University so early. Now you're dating some muscle head." I winced at my father's recollection of my accelerated education. As a Hyuga, along with my sister and cousin, I had been educated at a much younger age than most children. I was extremely intelligent and had been accepted into a top Ivy League college at the age of 15. Now, at the age of 22, I was a lawyer waiting for my first case. The journey had been difficult, but I wouldn't have changed anything I did. If I hadn't moved to Konoha Country to attend University, I wouldn't have met the love of my life, Naruto Uzumaki, the Shinobi's star running back or my two best friends: Sakura who was also a genius who hailed from a family of neurological surgeons and was now in her third year of surgical residency at the age of 22 and Ino, who was the Heiress of the 5-star hotel, The Garden, and had received her MBA at the age of 20.

In the end, I was now living in a beautiful loft with my two best friends in one of the most sought after apartment building in all of Konoha. Everything was falling into place. I didn't need my father to put down my choice of men. Naruto was amazing.

"Hinata, are you listening?" I heard her father yell through the earpiece I had just put into my ear.

"Y-yes Father!" I stuttered, as I accidentally bumped into someone as I entered the coffee shop. I eyed the frappe a woman who had just received her order was holding, salivating at the prospects of getting a much larger one.

"Also, I hope you've stayed true to your diet." I stilled, "I am sure it was the stresses of law school caused you to gain weight. So I suggest you order something low-fat. Hanabi and I shall video call you later tonight, so keep your laptop on. Good-bye daughter." With that, my father hung up on me. I groaned. How had he known I was getting ready to order coffee? I looked around at the ceiling. It had been like this all my life. My father always knew what I was doing no matter how far away he was. I sighed out and ordered a low-fat decaf coffee.

I walked into my room after I realized that my roommates had yet to return. I was sure Sakura had forced her boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha, the star quarterback and Naruto's best friend, to take her shopping, and I was sure Ino was running around with her artist of a on and off boyfriend, Sai.

Taking a sip from my coffee, I opened up my laptop. As it loaded up, I toasted a plain bagel and when that was finished, I spread whipped butter on it. Sticking my bagel in my mouth, I unlocked my computer and checked her mail. I had been waiting for my first case for months now, and this had caused me to check my email religiously. I truly wanted to begin my career as a defense attorney. I skimmed through my mail, only seeing junk mail and a slew of congratulation e-cards from family members and old friends. I sighed into my coffee and continued to eat. This was not how things were supposed to go. Why couldn't I acquire a case? Was I not good enough? I had graduated at the top of my class so why couldn't I get a job? All of my friends had received jobs only a few weeks after graduation. What made me so different? I sighed again and finished my bagel. My father could try to control my coffee habits, but he couldn't tell me not to put extra whipped butter on my bagel. He also couldn't tell me not to get another one.

Smiling to myself as I anticipated the taste of another bagel in my mouth, I heard my cell phone beep. I ignored it at first, believing it to be some chain message from my teenage sister. Then, I heard a notification ring from her laptop. At that very moment, I dropped my bagel and sprinted to my laptop. This was it! I could feel it! This was the moment… Junk mail. I slammed my laptop shot. This was getting ridiculous. I got ready to throw the fallen bagel in the trash and make another one when I heard my phone beep again. An exasperated sigh pulled though my being and I sauntered over to the desk to silence my phone when I caught a glimpse of the notification. It read, "email – 1:34 PM – from Kurenai Yuhi." My heart turned into a jack hammer. I couldn't bare it anymore. However I didn't want to my hopes up this time, when I read, "Defense Attorney I Hyuga assigned to case 30036, the case of Gaara Sabaku versus the state: the defendant is accused of first degree murder." I dropped to the floor. My first case! I had just received my first case! My heartbeat grew rapidly. Wait, it was a murder, and I was defending the accused murderer?! What type of sick joke was this? My mood then fell rapidly, and soon I was spiraling into depression. I tried to get up, but my dizziness caused me to stumble back down. Lying on the ground, I watched as everything around turned me to black.

**Gaara**

I had not slept in weeks. Sitting in a cold, damp, and rat infested jail cell wasn't helping much either. I had been lying on my makeshift bed for what seemed like weeks, eyes wide open. They burned with exhaustion, but I couldn't close them. Sleep had proven itself to not favor me. I blankly stared at the barren walls when I heard a pop. Moving my eyes slightly, I stared at the place where the sound was coming from. Eventually, my eyes focused and I watched as drops of water almost systematically fell from the ceiling on my cell. 1, 2, 3, like clockwork. I guessed that it had rained or was raining. I felt an involuntary shiver course through my body. I hated the rain. Bad things always happened on days that it rained. This nightmare had started on a rainy day…

* * *

**I almost couldn't contain my excitement. Granted, I had trained myself to be a emotionlessness being since childhood, so my version of excitement was probably not something to gawk at. Nonetheless. I was excited. All my hard work had finally paid off. I was finally in the place I had wanted to be all along. **

**All my life I had suffered as an outcast, a loner, and even looked at by my family as demonic spawn. I fought through all of that. I took all of the abuse. I took all of the pain. I swallowed everything they threw at me. Instead of staying on the path of destruction and hatred, I decided to stop my suicidal self-pitying and angry hateful angst filled behavior. I wouldn't let these people destroy the life that my mother gave her own to save. I got my act together and here I was.**

**"All privates report to the field at 0900 hours!" I was pulled out my thoughts by one of the sergeants who had entered my squad's dorm.**

**"Sir, yes Sir!" we all answered. **

**The Sergeant glared back at us and left. We all continued to unpack our things and make our beds. I glanced at the clock. We had 30 minutes. Unlike most of the soldiers, I had gotten lucky and was put in a room with single beds instead of bunk beds. Things never really worked out for me so this was incredibly pleasing. **

**Unpacking was simple enough. I didn't have much. Granted, there wasn't much we were allowed to bring. After I was done inspecting my bed, I checked myself to make sure my uniform lacked all mistakes and lined up behind the other privates. As the last of us joined the line, we marched in a single file to the field. **

**When we arrived at the field, two Sergeants, a Major, a Captain, and a General were there waiting for us. I was actually surprised to see a Captain and General among the 5 men who were waiting to give us orders. As all the other soldiers lined up 10 rows with 20 members each, I marveled at the number of privates they were. In my town, I was often told I was delusional for seeking a career in the military. It seemed many people were indeed delusional. **

**We spent the next three hours being briefed by the sergeants on all the rules of the military, as though we didn't already know these things. I felt as though I was in a movie. It all seemed so surreal. **

**Eventually, the briefing was through and we were assigned to our separate platoons. As we moved to our groups, I realized that everyone in my platoon was also my roommate. We should have known. Then, all the more high-ranking members introduced themselves. They were all hard looking men with a multitude of battle scars and war stories to fill our heads with, however, I was a bit surprised with the way the General was acting. He didn't seem confrontational like all the others. He was a tall, built man with sandy blond hair and what seemed like tribal marks around his eyes. That's when I noticed his eyes. They were the most unnatural color I had ever seen. They were yellow and it made the man seem almost animalistic.**

**His introduced himself as General Shukaku. I involuntary shrunk away at the mention of his name. He may not have exuded the same brutish strength as the other high-ranking men, but something told me he was the most dangerous man there.**

**After the "festivities" we all were escorted to the cafeteria were our lunches were being served. As I filed into the line, I noticed that all the other privates were already forming their groups of "friends." Throughout my life, I had never had a friend. The whole aspect of having someone who cared for me and enjoyed my company was a foreign and unimaginable thought. How could I expect a stranger to care for me when my own family treated me like vermin? **

**After having my plate filled with what looked like rice and porridge, I took my seat at the only empty table I could find. I really didn't mind being alone. When I was still in high school the school psychologist would try to convince me that I was lonely and in desperate need of companionship. She didn't seem to understand the simple fact that I was my own companion. I didn't need anyone else. I'm all I would ever have and that was all right, or so I had hoped.**

**After staring at the meal on my plate, I finally decided to start eating when someone's tray landed in front of me. Putting my spoon down, I slightly raised my head to see who had decided to sit in front of me.**

**"Private."**

**"General Shukaku," I began, a bit confused, "I apologize if this is your table. I will find somewhere else." I began to get up when he ordered me to sit back down, emitting a small chuckle.**

**"Sit down, Private…" he lingered on the word waiting for me to answer.**

**"Gaara," I answered, "Gaara Sabaku." **

**"Gaara…" he murmured, "I like to get to know my soldiers. I can't expect you to lay your lives down for this country if I don't take the time to get to know you all." He began to eat his food, which surprisingly was no different from mine. "You see, with that bright red hair of yours you stick out like a sore thumb. You were also siting by yourself. In all my years of being in the military, I've never seen someone sitting by himself or herself. Are you seeking attention, private?"**

**"No, Sir," I answered quietly. **

**"We'll see about that…" he continued, "Gaara… that's actually a nice name… just rolls off the tongue… You know, red is my favorite color… Gaara, I like you, boy. Stick with me. I'll show you the ropes." After that, we continued eating in silence. I faced my food the whole time, but I didn't fail to notice that the rest of the soldiers and a few of the other higher-ranking members were glaring daggers at me. I understood that it was an honor to have a General of such high ranking wanting to take me under his wing, however I would have done anything to just fall back into obscurity. **

**The next few weeks went by quickly, with each day being the same as the last. Wake up, do the morning workout, 5-minute shower, pop quiz, training, lunch, pop quiz, training, then chore duty. Those were the regulated activities that all the privates performed daily. However, I was exempt from chore duty and instead, everyday I would be summoned by General Shukaku's assistant for training sessions. Apparently he saw potential in me to do greater things. There were rumors going around that he wanted me to join the black ops or become a spy. **

**Finally, a month after the first day I arrived at the army, I was yet again standing outside of General Skukaku's office waiting to be let in to begin my training session. Usually we would meet in the barracks. This was the first time I had been called to his office. After waiting for a few minutes I knocked again. Finally, I heard him say, "Come in," and I opened the door. Looking back on that day, I should have just stayed in my room.**

* * *

The drops still hadn't stopped after all that time. I began counting the drops in my head when a prison guard came into view outside my holding cell. He murmured what sounded like "food" and after putting it on the ground, left. I slowly sat up and tired to get my eyes to corporate. It seemed I hadn't' slept in so long that I was loosing my perfect vision.

Finally, my eyes focused on the meal that had been left for me. However, when I saw just what was left for me, I feel into a panic. It seemed my lungs would burst from the sheer power behind the scream that was spewing out of my mouth. My heart was racing at the speed of a run away train and my whole body was numb. I knew that if it weren't for the numbness I would have gone into shock from the pain I was causing my self by ripping and clawing at my head.

I watched in slow motion as guards opened by cell and tried to restrain me. They were no match for me when I had lost control. Eventually, after struggling with my manic self, one got ahold of a tranquilizer gun and shut me in the arm.

Everything immediately began to spin. Everything was so distorted in my head. I couldn't make sense of anything. That was when I saw it. The monstrosity on the plate had begun to slither over to where I had fallen after being sedated. As watched with terror as it got closer and closer. As my eyes began to close and I lost consciousness, I swear I saw the porridge form a face in the rice, smiling at me. I thanked the gods of unconsciousness for claiming me at that very moment.

Bad things always happened on rainy days. I knew that better than anyone.

**Hinata**

"My name is Hinata Hyuga, and I will be your criminal defense lawyer, appointed to you by the state. it's a pleasure to meet you." I said proudly after the detective and prison guard introduced me to the man I would be defending. I was a bit proud of myself. I hadn't stuttered, which was amazing. On my way to the prison, I had been a nervous wreak. However, my satisfaction was destroyed when the suspect… I mean man, I would be defending, continued to stare at the desk.

He hadn't moved since I had entered the room. Frankly, I wasn't even sure if he was breathing.

"He's been a mute ever since he's been in this jail," the officer told me. I believe his name was Kakashi, "he does nothing but stare and scream. But don't worry, he can hear you."

I nodded at this and took my seat in front of the suspect. I had wanted to gain some sort of a relationship with this man, but it didn't seem as though he was interested in the like. As I looked him over, I couldn't imagine that this man was being charged with first degree murder. He looked so young, maybe around my age. His blood red hair hung down his face, but I could still see his teal eyes. He was incredibly skinny, as though he hadn't eaten in days. He also had bruises all over his skin. I wandered if the people in the jail were abusing him. I shot a glance at Officer Kakashi. However, I couldn't see the man laying a had on the young man.

"I-It says here that your name is Gaara Sabaku," I said as I began reading the papers the officer had handed me. "Oh and you are 21, close to me…I'm 22." I felt sad realizing that Gaara was in fact as young as I was. How could he have gotten into this situation?

"Well I did a bit of research, and found out a bit about your case. It seems that you are charged for the murder of General Shukaku on January 19th, 2013. It seems you are facing a sentence of Life without parole. Also, it says here that you had already admitted to killing General Shukaku, and there are a number of witnesses listed." I sighed tiredly. This case was not one for a beginner. It seemed to me as though they gave me this case so I would fail and this young man would be forever branded as a felon, and live the entirety of his life in prison.

I took off my glasses and sighed again, rubbing my temples. This was too much. Eventually, I calmed down and looked that my defendant, "did you do it, Gaara? Did you kill that man?"

After a few minutes of ignoring me, he lifted his head and nodded slightly. I couldn't' stop staring at him. I couldn't stop feeling like his eyes were not the eyes of a murderer. They were the eyes of a victim! There was more to this than this guy was letting on. There was something he wasn't telling us.

"W-Why did you kill him, Gaara?" I asked him, staring at him intently.

He lowered his head and swallowed hard. Slowly, he grabbed a lone sheet of paper and weakly scribbled something on it.

After he was done, he slowly pushed the paper over to my side of the table. I picked it up and read it, horror in my eyes. It read: HE DESERVED TO DIE.


	2. Chapter 2

Gaara's present time POV is a bit random and skips about due to his broken state of mind. I hope it doesn't confuse anyone.

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**Hinata**

I flopped down next to my boyfriend as he flipped through the various channels that had recently been installed. He was now laughing at some sport blooper television show on the sports network, stuffing his mouth full of chips at each passing second. He offered me some every now and then, but I could barely think about eating. I was going through all my notes and arguments I had prepared for the trial. However, I couldn't concentrate. All I could think of was my meeting with the Prosecuting Attorney a few weeks ago during our Pre-Trial Conference.

I had entered the office, feigning a high level of confidence that was quickly shattered when the prosecutor stomped into the room. He rudely introduced himself as Mister Danzo Shimura, stating that I was much too young to be handling such a case. He was an intimidating man to say the least. His left eye was covered with an eye patch, and he walked with a limp. _What type of lawyer is this man, _I wondered? Apparently, he was a very good one who seemed to have a lot of connections in the criminal justice system and the military. After we exchanged contact information, he immediately began talking about what a great man General Shukaku had been. _A War Hero, _he called the man. I smirked inwardly at this. If he was such a strong man, how had he allowed lanky malnutritioned Gaara to take him down?

When I had first been briefed on this case, I expected Gaara to be a bit bigger and stronger looking than he turned out to be. Pictures of General Shukaku had been plastered all over the news and in the papers. The case was picking up a lot of attention due to the connections it seemed the General had with a number of politicians in our state and even the country. It seemed he had been quite respected. As Mr. Shimura had continued on and on about how he would not let Gaara go free, my head filled with thoughts of the reclusive red head who would not look me in the eye, whose skin was as pale as fresh snow and marred with red and purple brushes, whose beautiful eyes were dulled with fatigue and misery. The media, which had been unable to acquire any pictures of him, had painted him as a monster. However, the young man I had seen that day was no monster. He was a fallen angel.

"I do not know what you planned to gain from this meeting, little girl, but I plan on taking that little shit down. I'll make sure he lives the rest of his days in a rotten cell. Just be happy I'm not trying to get him the death sentence." He began packing up his papers, "honestly, I'm doing it for you. A girl as young as yourself shouldn't have to have such a tragedy on your belt your first year." He said, smiling a crocked smile.

My entire life, I had been trained to speak when spoken to, answer politely and accordingly, and never show your elders a displeased look. However, I couldn't help the angry frown that crept its way into my features as the man spoke. I had hoped to keep this case from going to trail. I had wanted it to be resolved with a plea, since I knew the amount of evidence against Gaara was mountainous. Gaara had been founded at the scene of the crime, blood splattered everywhere, a knife in his trembling hands, with the body of the disfigured and lifeless General Shukaku across from him. The man had been stabbed over thirty times. It was obvious that Gaara meant to kill him. This was no accident.

I sighed, my frown turning into a slight smile. This man needed to realize that though I seemed petite and inexperienced, I was a Hyuga. Losing was unacceptable, especially to someone as slimy as him.

"I…I assure you, Mr. Shimura, you owe me no favors. I may be young, but I am a talented lawyer. You and the rest of the world may have your preconceived notions about myself and my _client, _but he is no monster," I said, "I dare say, he was a victim in all of this."

Mr. Shimura bit his lip, probably holding in a gasp. I smiled inwardly, imagining such a hard man gasping like a teenage girl hearing hot gossip. It helped me calm down my trembling voice. I continued, "By challenging my client, you have challenged me. Gaara will not rot in jail, as you so fondly put it."

Mr. Shimura chuckled darkly at my revelation. "So the silly little rich girl wants to play games with the big boys, huh? Know your place, dear. You are not your father."

"And I don't plan to be," I said. I could feel my face heat up with anger. I never interrupted adults, but this man was so darn infuriating!

My opponent's features twisted angrily and he packed the rest of his things coolly. After he was done, he picked up his suitcase and made his way to the door. Opening it slightly, he turned his head and said to me, sternly as so the waiting reporters would hear exactly what he said, "I was going to go easy on you, but since you insist, I'm going for the death sentence. Good luck, little girl. You'll need it."

Before the man could leave, I screamed out, "Well, I'm going to have him acquitted!" right after I had spoken those words, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. The reporters swarmed in. The news would have a field day with my little outburst.

"Hinata… Hinata…. HINATA!"

I almost fell out of my place in the couch at Naruto's screaming of my name. He looked at me worriedly, but then flashed me his signature grin. I smiled back shyly. Naruto's smile always seemed to make everything better.

"W-What's up?" I asked.

Shaking his head, Naruto answered through food stuffed cheeks, "your phone has been vibrating for the past few minutes. I think it was your dad."

"R-really?" I shuttered out. I scrabbled to my phone and picked it up, hoping my father would still be on the line. I sighed to myself as he hung up right when I pressed the answer button. I called him back immediately and mouthed to Naruto that I'd take the call in my room. As I was making my way to my room, I could have scorn I heard Sakura moaning and a few slapping sounds. My face red, I hurried into my room. _It was on 2 pm for crying out loud! Why were those two already at it?! _

"Hello."

"F-father!" I almost screamed out. I hadn't expected him to answer the phone so readily. He immediately began berating me for shuttering. He hated that habit of mine. I somehow found the courage to tell him I only stuttered when talking to him, which was a lie. However, I couldn't have him thinking I was falling apart at a time like this. My first trail was in less than two weeks and for the most part, I had nothing. I needed to put up a front of confidence for both him and myself.

"Anyway, are you prepared for the trial? It's all over the news here. It seems as though it is all people are concerned with these days," my father said over the phone.

"I know. It seems everyone is on General Shukaku's side. I mean, the news has done as excellent job of painting him as the fallen war hero, while painting Gaara as a homicidal delinquent with drug problems and an inability to head authority." I said as I took a seat at my desk, opening and unlocking my laptop. "I mean, dad, I wish you could have seen him during our meetings. He's so frail looking and he doesn't even speak. Everything he tells him, which isn't much, he writes down. The man is broken, father."

"Hinata, what did I tell you about getting so attached to this case?"

"Dad, h-how was I not supposed to get attached? It is my first case and the suspect I am defending is only a month younger than me. I couldn't imagine being sentenced to life or even death at such a young age!"

"You didn't kill someone, Hinata," my father said sternly over the phone. He had been calling quite a lot ever since the news broke out that I challenged Mr. Shimura, claiming I would get my client acquitted. That day, my father hadn't spoken with me, he had yelled at me for the better part of 45 minutes. Apparently, I had been foolish, rash, and unlike a Hyuga in my actions. I hadn't weighed my options correctly, and I acted solely on emotion. Hyugas weren't' big on emotion, especially in business. My father was the CEO of three major global companies. He ruled with an iron fist and would destroy his enemies with a slight of a wrist. I knew he loathed the fact that I seemed to wear my heart on my sleeve. I was too soft, I knew he believed that.

"Daddy…" I almost whined. I didn't need him yelling at me or scolding me anymore. I just needed his support. I just needed him to tell me he believed in me even if my actions would eventually lead to certain demise and the destruction of my career before it even began.

He sighed at my behavior. I was acting more and more like Hanabi, my younger sister. She knew the art of getting our father to fold like no other.

"What do you have so far? I hope you're not going to just go with an insanity plea or crime of passion. The jury won't take you seriously."

I swallowed. That had been my exact plan. I sighed loudly. Frankly, I had nothing. Gaara wouldn't tell me anything about his experience in the military. Every day we met, he would scribble nonsense about how "he deserved to die" and "he wouldn't hurt anyone again." The ones that disturbed me the most were his writing about needles. Apparently, he had a deep seethed hate for the things. I asked around and finally, learned that after Gaara had been arrested, traces of Cocaine and Heroin had been found in his system. However, many of the officers asked that I do not exploit this fact unless it became extremely necessary. Our military system did not want its people to be made aware of what a big problem drug abuse truly was. I knew they had been the ones who were in Mr. Shimura's ears, trying to get him to stop his pursuit of the death sentence if I agreed not to divulge the information to the jury. I never agreed to not use the information, knowing that it could possibly harm Gaara's case, but I did let them know that if things came to a stand off, I would use that information in any way that would yield positive results for my client. _He had been hallucinating due to the fatal combination of Heroin and Cocaine. _That was an argument that would throw the jury off. The media had painted Gaara as just some weed-smoking simpleton. They had not been briefed on just how serious the drugs he had developed a dependency on were.

"Honestly Dad, those are options I'm willing to take. However, I can't help shake the feeling that there's something more to this case… something the police and Gaara aren't telling me. If I can figure out what that is, I think I can save him."

"You did enjoy saving lost animals when you were young," my father said, sighing gravely, "but Hinata… that suspect is a human being. He is a murderer, but he is still a living breathing person. This isn't just some pet you can toss away. You need to make sure you are doing the right thing."

"I-I know, Daddy."

"So Hinata, what is it that makes you so sure that he is not guilty?" my father continued, taking the conversation in a more comfortable direction.

I thoughtfully pondered his question. When I was finally ready, I began my tale.

"The first two times I met with him, I had no idea what I would do, Dad. I mean, he didn't look like how I pictured a murderer would look. He wasn't scary. If anything, I think he was more scared of me than I was of him. It was almost as if… he wasn't alive. Remember what I told you he wrote on the piece of paper during the first visit. He wrote that general Shukaku deserved it. Honestly, Dad, when I first read that, I was terrified. I couldn't believe someone could ever say that about anyone else. The next few visits weren't' much different. However, on the 7th visit, I brought along with me a news paper that had the case plastered all over it." I took a break to breath out nervously as the memories of that day came back to me.

I had been at a lost with Gaara. It almost seemed as though he didn't want me to acquit me. It was as if I wanted him to be proven innocent more than he wanted for himself. It angered me. How could someone have so little care for his or her own life? Since the date for the trail had been set, he had tried to kill himself a number of times. I knew he was on 24-hour suicide watch and was now being force-fed. I remember during one of my visits, I had said something that seemed to upset him. I had asked him about his relationship with his platoon members in the military. It had been an innocent enough question, I believed. I just wanted to know if I could collect a few witnesses of my own. At the time, all I had was the prison guard, Officer Hatake and one of the scientists who had treated Gaara immediately after his arrest, Dr. Mitarashi.

Still, these people were not there with Gaara in the military. It also seemed he had been estranged from his family, and none of my hired investigators were able to get a hold of either of his siblings. They wanted nothing to do with him.

At first, when I asked him about the platoon members, he did what he normally did, stare blankly down at the desk. However, this time, I set the newspaper directly in front of his line of sight. There were pictures of soldiers who were testifying against Gaara in the case, some even members of his platoon. I asked him if he recognized anyone of them, almost hoping he would point out one that I could coax into coming to our side. I could not have foreseen what would happen next. Gaara began to tremble violently, tears in his eyes. He grabbed at his hair as he swung his arms wildly, hitting me and a few of the guards. They immediately jumped into action to restrict him, but he surprisingly fought them all off. He tried to get out of the room, clawing at it frantically as his shrill screams penetrated our eardrums, but it was locked. Before anyone of us could do anything, he threw up the liquid chemicals that were in his stomach, his screams muffled by the vomit. He continued banging on the door, sobbing pathetically as he realized his attempts at escape were in vain. He threw up two more times after that, promptly passing out in the pool of his own vomit. The guards collected him after that and hoisted him to the infirmary. Cleaning staff was already ready outside to clean the mess he had left behind.

Placing my palm on my throbbing cheek that Gaara had punched in his blinded rage, I slumped down in the chair. I could faintly hear a lone officer asking me if I was all right, but I felt as though I had seen a ghost. Gaara had transformed from the frail boy to a raging unpredictable beast.

I could feel my heart beat quicken as involuntary tears littered my cheeks. I knew exactly what Gaara was suffering from. His behavior was not just the result of withdrawal from illegal drugs. No, this was way deeper than the investigators were letting on. PTSD. Extreme Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Most war veterans were diagnosed with it. Although, from his records, I had discovered that Gaara's platoon had never been deployed. From this I knew that it was not the violence of war that had caused his reaction. There was something else that had happened while he was in the military. He definitely had experienced something extremely traumatic and detrimental during his timeserving, and I knew finding out what would be the difference between his sure death and his second chance.

**Gaara**

I stared at the tube-like needle that had been pumping some type of medicine into my arm. It seemed I had tried to kill myself again. Every time I tried, someone would always find me and bring me here, the infirmary. This time, I had cut my wrist open with a blade I had craved out of the end of my toothbrush. I smiled as I heard the vein pop, my blood spewing out, scarlet tendrils of liquid bliss. Soon, a puddle of red had surrounded me. It enveloped me in its arms, drawing me in, making me feel… safe. However, my moment of tranquil silence was ruined when the loud guard, the one with dark hair like a bowl, charged in and carried me to the infirmary, all the while slamming his hands over my cut. Normally, I never let any of them touch me, but for some reason, I couldn't move my body. Soon, everything turned to black. Contently, I welcomed death.

Then I woke up.

That time I had tried to end my life at exactly 2:15 AM when the guards took a smoke break. I had failed in my calculations. That particular bowl haired guard didn't smoke.

I looked around the room. I frowned. White walls. White sheets. White everything. I didn't understand why they choose to use such an intrusive color. White was disturbing. It was too clean, and I was too dirty. It only served to make me uncomfortable… well, more uncomfortable than usual.

I hated needles. I raised my other arm to pull out the thing that was putting lord knows what into my veins when I realized that my other arm was tied to the bed. That was when the panic set it. I tried to remain claim. I really tried. But I could feel the monsters clawing at my skin. The nightmares and the flashbacks began attacking my mind. They had free reign of me now that I was restrained. I tried as hard as I possibly could to remain calm, but eventually I shattered. My screams rang through the entire jail, I'm sure. I fucking hated being restrained.

**I couldn't help falter when I opened the door to General Shukaku's office. He was seated at the lone desk in the large office. The windows were closed, but I could still see and hear the flashes of light and the boom of the thunderstorm outside. I told myself that was the reason we were meeting here. It was a rainy day. He couldn't train me on rainy days… right? **

**I immediately greeted him with a salute, attempting to keep my eyes locked with his piercing gold spheres for as long as I could. General Shukaku, however, remained seated. He motioned for me to take a seat. For some reason, a cold sweat dripped upon my head. Not the sweat my body was bathed in during our training sessions in which he would teach me all types of combat, but the sweat from anxiety. I shakingly took my seat. My heart was pounding like a drum, and I had no idea why. **

**The only light in the room was the light created by a small oil lamp on the wooden desk. The storm had whipped out the electricity a while ago, and the technicians were scrabbling about to start the generators. I tried to swallow as I took in the cold and silent room. Shadows crept about on the walls and the surfaces, caused by the lamp. General Shukaku continued writing in a book of sorts, looking up at me everyone once in a while as if checking to make sure I was still there. **

**A chill ran through my spine. What was there? I thought I saw something moving in the darkness, but it was just my imagination. There it was again! I rubbed my eyes, blinking frantically. Finally it was gone. I swallowed again. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I needed to leave. I began to stand up, when General Shukaku's gaze met mine. I froze in place. I couldn't move. **

**"Where do you think you're going, private?" I tried to speak, but found that my words would not come out.**

**"I did not command you," He said. He put his things down and narrowed his eyes at me. "However, if you are that willing to begin, I will not fault you."**

**"P-Pardon my insolence, Sir, but why have I been summoned to your office today?" I bit my tongue. Why had I stuttered? Better yet, why had my voice turned into a weak whisper? What was going on?**

**"Take your seat, Private."**

**I did as I was told, all the while regretfully. Even if I had wanted to walk out of the office, I couldn't. Fear of what was to come held me in in place.**

**"You have always been so impatient." He growled out, "Now, let's get to business." Stacking the papers together, he pulled out the drawer to his right and put the files away. Then he folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair.**

**"I believe you've heard the rumors?"**

**I didn't know what he was talking about. My brain seemed to have stopped working. "No, Sir."**

**"Really? Hmmm…" he began twiddling a pen on its tip. Eventually, he let the pen fall and returned his eyes to me. "I guess the privates have become better at keeping secrets. That's good. But, I am sure you've heard something. I mean, I've told many of the sergeants that I am planning on training you to become an elite spy for this country." He said that last part with a smile.**

**I let out a breathe. I had been worried for nothing! I hadn't even known what it was I had been afraid of, but all my worry desiccated at that moment and I sheepishly smiled at the General. **

**"So you have heard the rumors," he said with a crooked grin. "Well, they are true. You show promise as a master of espionage, with your quick movements and lithe form. You could kill someone without them even knowing they had been murdered. In a flash. Also, I did a bit of research, and found out that you have been estranged from your family for quite some time. Your father has relinquished all rights to you as his son, and your brother and sister live with your uncle. You spent most of your high school career in group homes."**

**I cringed at his telling of my pasts. It wasn't something I wanted to relive. I had been an emancipated minor for the majority of my last few years of adolescence, living with other children from similar situations. My family had wanted nothing to do with me. **

**"I also found out that your mother died during childbirth so, in reality, you have no one." I bit my lips, but instead of tasting my saliva, I could taste the faint hint of metal. I had broken skin. I didn't need this man telling me what I already knew. What did this have to do with my becoming a spy?**

**"So in retrospect, you are perfect for the job." I let out another breath I had been holding when the General began talking about my past. **

**"So from now on, you will no longer meet me in the field. You will report to my office every day for your training from now on."**

**"Bu-but how will I train here?" I shuttered out. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I speak? **

**General Shukaku stood up out of his large chair and walked towards the right side of the room. He immediately squatted down and pushed the rug that had been covering what seemed to be a door out of the way. **

**"This leads to one of the basement training chambers. We use it for special training such as this." he pulled out a key and unlocked the door, pulling it open to display the long flight of stairs leading to another floor of the office. I bite my lip again.**

**"Nervous?" I tried to answer, but I couldn't. My stomach turned into knots.**

**"However, I have one request." General Shukaku said and he walked back to his desk drawer and pulled out a black sash. He flashed me another crooked smile. "On the way there, you must be blindfolded. There are a few secret passages along the way soldiers are not allowed to see."**

**The General did not wait for my answer. He immediately appeared behind me and brought the blindfold around my front. That was when the sweat began falling again. I abruptly jerked away from the General and turned to glare at him questioningly.**

**"Trust me, Gaara," he said sternly. "I'm going to blindfold you okay? Don't worry; it's for your own good. The first training is always the worst."**

**I forced myself to sit still as he stole my vision away from me. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. My palm was sweaty with worry, and I couldn't stop trembling. Everything was dark now. I tried to calm myself, telling myself it was for the training. General Shukaku was a respected man, and I was lucky to have him take interest in me. I was lucky to have anyone take interest in me! **

**That was when I felt a needle go into my side. I tried to scream out, but something… someone covered my mouth. I didn't understand! What was going on? I tried to run, my fear overtaking my ability to think and stumbled into the open door. I screamed in pain as I tumbled down the flight of stairs. Letting out a number of curses when I crashed into the ground, I brought my hands up to pull the blindfold off my face. I barely got the things off before I felt my heart slow down. My vision blurred and everything looked black. I tried to get up, but only fell back down, my legs not cooperating with my wishes. My head felt as though it had been slammed into my 50-ton bricks. I collapsed in a numb fit, my vision fading with my consciousness. The only thing I remembered seeing before the blackness was General Shukaku's gold piercing eyes, his crooked grin, and the sounds of raindrops and thunder. **

I jerked my head away as the nurse continued to try to feed me. Why were these people so adamant about keeping me alive? They would just kill me in the end. They just wanted to keep me alive so they could kill me on their terms. Finally, the woman gave up and just walked out the room, only to return with a liquid food pack. I watched with tired eyes as she prepped it. I knew she would administer medicine and then stick the tube up my nose. I didn't want that. I feebly shook my head no, almost hoping she would understand. She did. She mumbled something about "playing nice," and began loosening my restraints. I reluctantly ate the food. I ended up not being able to keep it down, and vomiting it all up later. Well, I tried.

The next day, I had what the doctors here call a "nervous breakdown." I just wanted my medicine. No one had given me my medicine ever since that black haired woman began making me sit with her in a room. They say she is my lawyer, and will keep them from making me stay here forever. I don't understand. I never asked to leave. I like my dark room. I like the bars that kept the monsters out. I don't want to go back to the outside world. The outside world made me like this. The outside world destroyed me. The outside world is cruel. I like it here.

Yesterday, the woman came back. I don't understand why they decided to start putting me in handcuffs. Did they think I'm going to attack her? I don't like her and all of her questions, but I wouldn't try to hurt her. I'm more likely to hurt myself than others. I smiled inwardly; maybe they knew what they were doing.

The last time we met, she had showed me a picture of the General. Just seeing the man's face had thrown me into a fit of violent out bursts. So that night, they gave me my medicine. I was so happy! I couldn't stop laughing the entire night. Then they didn't give me my medicine for almost a week. I was so tired, angry, anxious. Everything upset me and I knew all of the guards were plotting against me. They wanted to destroy me just like _he_ had done. I wouldn't let them. I would kill them before I let them destroy me. NO BODY would destroy me again.

I was always shaking. Always. I couldn't stop shaking. When I wasn't shaking, I was vomiting. I couldn't keep anything in my stomach. They kept trying to feed me, but I didn't want food. I want my medicine. I want my medicine. I want my fucking medicine!

If they don't give me my medicine, I'll start having the bad dreams again. I'll start seeing him again. I don't want to see him. Please don't make me see him!

Yesterday they said they'd give me my medicine if I meet with that lady. So I let them handcuff me and I sat down with her. She told me that in a week, I would have to go to the outside and have a trail. She said she was defending me. I didn't understand. Then she told me that she would keep me from staying in here forever. I didn't understand. Why did she want me to leave? Had they sent her? No. She wanted something else. She had said it before, but I can't remember now.

I can't remember much about what life was like before I came here. I remember only bits and pieces of _him. _But I can't remember anything before that. I wonder if I… wait what? She's asking me something. I keep my head down though. I don't want to look at her.

"Your trial will be a Jury trial. After the evidence is presented, the jury will determine if the evidence proved that you committed the crime. I have a bit to help you in this, but I need more. We only have a few days before the first court hearing." She scoots her chair closer to the table and brings her face dangerously close to mine.

"Gaara." She says my name. Her voice is soft and soothing, nothing like his. "Gaara, I need you to tell me what happened to you. I can't help you much if you don't tell me. I know you didn't just kill that man for no reason. I know he hurt you. Can you please just tell me what he did to you? Please, Gaara."

I can feel my body trembling as the panic sets in. Memories of what had happened to me begin attacking my mind like bricks. I try to get up, but my legs won't move. I try to crawl away, but my hands are limp. I just sit there with a blank look on my face. Eventually, the retching up of blood begins. Remembering tends to have that affect on me.

**I was awoken by the sound of thunder. I could barely open my eyes, but when I finally did, I was met with darkness. I tried to get up, move in any way, but my arms were restrained above my head. I couldn't move my legs either. My sense of what was up down and right left was extremely distorted.**

**"Gaara… you're finally awake." I hear General Shukaku's voice say as footsteps get closer and closer to me. **

**Violently twisting and turning, I try to free myself, but whatever was keeping me shackled to the unknown surface was relentless. I tried to scream out, to curse the man, to yell for help, but I couldn't. My attempts at speech only came out as muffled gargles trapped by a gag in my mouth. My heart began beating out my chest. Why was I here? What was going on? I didn't like it. I wanted it to stop.**

**His voice became louder as he stepped closer and closer towards me. **

**"I've been waiting so long for this." I felt his hands caress the sides of my face. I didn't understand. What the fuck was he doing?**

**"I knew I had to have you the moment I first laid eyes on you… sitting all alone looking so beautiful." He yanked my hair hard. Only then did I realize there was something around my neck as well. It slammed into my throat. I almost chocked on my own saliva, the gag muffled my consequent screams. **

**"I'll just light this lamp so I can see you better." With that, the room was dimly illuminated. I could see the small flickers of light through my blindfold.**

**"You're so beautiful…" **

**The words made me sick. I wanted to vomit, but I couldn't move. I had never been so afraid my entire life. I didn't understand what was happening. I did everything I was told to do. I hadn't started any fights. I hadn't hurt anyone. I had listened and now, I was going to die. The first person I had trusted in a long time was going to kill me painfully and slowly. What other reason did he have to restrain me?**

**"You're going to make the perfect slave…"**

**I was shaking. What did he mean? What the fuck did he mean?! Before I could begin trashing again, I heard the unzipping of something. **

**"This is medicine that will keep you from falling asleep. I'll eventually grow tried of that gag, and will want to hear your wonderful voice." Before I even knew what was going to happen, my body began thrashing on its own accord. My instincts had taken over. My muscles and nerves knew something bad was coming. **

**I felt my body go rigid as something was inserted into my anus. I was naked? However, I didn't have time to think as a felt a cool liquid shoot into my insides. My heartbeat immediately shot up. I felt as though I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight and I couldn't think straight anymore. **

**"Perfect."**

**That was the last thing I heard that man say before he violently lodged what I knew was his penis into my rectum. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Please, this wasn't happening. I couldn't control the tears that had begun falling from my eyes. I couldn't stop screaming. Multiple emotions ran through my mind simultaneously.**

**Fear. I was in excruciating pain. I knew I would die. I was going to die.**

**Worry. What had I done wrong. I didn't deserve this. There were so many things I hadn't done.**

**Dread. What if I didn't die? What if this continued forever? What if the pain never went away?**

**Hope. Maybe he would stop. Maybe this was all just a terrible nightmare.**

**Anger. Anger. Anger.**

**Eventually, he was through, pulling his flaccid member out of me.**

**"That was great, Gaara. You were perfect." With that, he removed my blindfolds. "I can't wait to do this again tomorrow. Oh, and you better not tell anyone. It will be our little secret, unless other people will pay."**

**He looked down at me with those wicked gold orbs and that same crocked grin. **

**I looked back at him blankly. I didn't even have the energy to frown. It seemed my spirit had been pulled out of my body, my very being. All I could do was sob. Pain racked my entire body, so intense and ferocious, and all I could do was sob. I had never felt so humiliated in my entire existence. It was as if I was trapped in a constant state of death, and all I could do was sob. Then, as the pain intensified, I felt myself become violently sick. The gag however was in the way of me spewing up the vomit. I ended up chocking on it. Eventually, I felt my head spin, terrified and in unimaginable agony. Finally, I let unconscious take me. I had hoped I would die that day. I had hoped my eyes would never open. Sadly, I had woken up a few days after that. **

**For the next two and a half years following that first event, he would call me and violate me like that almost every day. He made me promise never to speak of the abuse or else, he would not only kill my entire family, he would rape and kill members of my platoon in front of me. To qualm my attempts at escape and retaliation, he continued administering "medicine" into my body against my will. I later found out that I had developed an addiction to both heroin and cocaine. I remember whenever he would destroy me, as he liked to put it, he would tell me how much he liked my voice. Eventually, I stopped speaking all together. This caused him to find new and more violent ways to violate and attack me, in attempts to get me to utter a sound. I would have bruises everywhere and had become a mere shell of a person. All I cared about was getting my medicine. **

**As the years went on, I grew numb to the attacks. I was no longer a human being. I no longer mattered. I was just an empty shell whose only reason to live was to appease ****_him. _**

**However, sometimes I would remember that I had once been someone. I had once had dreams and goals. Those days, I would start crying uncontrollably. ****_He _****would appease me by merely chocking me, until I fell into the blackness. He hated it when I cried. **


End file.
